Thoughts from the bike

Why is it that maps are flat but the roads I ride on have big hills? Why does the wind always blow in your face? Cycle paths are dreadful. They are covered in branches, broken glass and debris. If you do brave them you get smacked in the mouth by briars and branches. I'll take my chances on the road with articulated lorries! Why can some people jump in a tub of custard to raise money and I have to cycle 1500 miles? Do people understand how hard it is to cycle 70 miles with so much weight? I have cycled over 340 miles now which is over a fifth of the whole route. I have only been to 7 clubs. Enough of the moaning. I am enjoying it in a funny sort of way. So many people are praying for me I feel so many people backing me. More sponsorship would be nice though!